Living and working in a rural community creates a very
blurred line between work ethics and social fun. The common topic here
constantly, every day, anywhere, all the time is sex. I used to get
uncomfortable but now I just get annoyed or bored and make up stories about
mind dicks and ovary goddesses. I don’t really know where I’m going with those,
but they usually change the subject (for a while) because the other person gets
frustrated with my stupid tangents about just wanting to dance. We are supposed
to integrate and being a part of these conversations would be a great way to
connect with people, but there is a little voice in my soul that wants me to
stand up on my soapbox and preach about the unity of men and women and love and
compassion and respect, that just won’t let me.
That voice usually doesn’t come out here because: one, I would just be
called uptight and two (more importantly), that voice is usually accompanied by
a more emotionally charged voice that wants to yell at men to quit being so disgusting
and disrespectful to women and that talking about my pussy makes me want to
punch you and spit in your face and not fuck you. See… that voice gets pretty worked
up so I really try to find a balance.
Outside of the schools I work with a lot of men. The older
men haven’t been toooo much of a problem, but I certainly have had to set
boundaries with the younger men. I now have a bubble. No, you may not poke my
belly. No, you may not grab my waist. No, you may absolutely not grab my ass.
Yes, there is a time limit to how long my hand is in yours. I’m really trying
to find a balance between being firm and not being a hardass that no one wants
to talk to. Between having a fun or serious conversation and avoiding being
uncomfortably solicited. Between being respected and being accepted.
Talking about sex doesn’t bother me. Get a group of PCVs
together and most likely the conversation is going to be about food, sex or
shits. What bothers me is how sex is talked about in this male dominated world
and how so often I can be made to feel like a piece of whitey meat. Let me step
on that soapbox to preach to the choir for a moment: I am a woman, I am a human
being and I deserve respect and if you cannot provide that for me then I will
still provide that for me. You are a person and you deserve respect and if you
have trouble accepting it then you will have trouble giving it to others.
Bam! Thank you. I love you all.
P.S. I respect all you professional Jamaican women out there
that have to put up with this stuff constantly and do it with your heads held
high.
