Saturday, August 10, 2013

Gyal, mi luv yuh fat pumpum

Living and working in a rural community creates a very blurred line between work ethics and social fun. The common topic here constantly, every day, anywhere, all the time is sex. I used to get uncomfortable but now I just get annoyed or bored and make up stories about mind dicks and ovary goddesses. I don’t really know where I’m going with those, but they usually change the subject (for a while) because the other person gets frustrated with my stupid tangents about just wanting to dance. We are supposed to integrate and being a part of these conversations would be a great way to connect with people, but there is a little voice in my soul that wants me to stand up on my soapbox and preach about the unity of men and women and love and compassion and respect, that just won’t let me.  That voice usually doesn’t come out here because: one, I would just be called uptight and two (more importantly), that voice is usually accompanied by a more emotionally charged voice that wants to yell at men to quit being so disgusting and disrespectful to women and that talking about my pussy makes me want to punch you and spit in your face and not fuck you. See… that voice gets pretty worked up so I really try to find a balance.

Outside of the schools I work with a lot of men. The older men haven’t been toooo much of a problem, but I certainly have had to set boundaries with the younger men. I now have a bubble. No, you may not poke my belly. No, you may not grab my waist. No, you may absolutely not grab my ass. Yes, there is a time limit to how long my hand is in yours. I’m really trying to find a balance between being firm and not being a hardass that no one wants to talk to. Between having a fun or serious conversation and avoiding being uncomfortably solicited. Between being respected and being accepted.

Talking about sex doesn’t bother me. Get a group of PCVs together and most likely the conversation is going to be about food, sex or shits. What bothers me is how sex is talked about in this male dominated world and how so often I can be made to feel like a piece of whitey meat. Let me step on that soapbox to preach to the choir for a moment: I am a woman, I am a human being and I deserve respect and if you cannot provide that for me then I will still provide that for me. You are a person and you deserve respect and if you have trouble accepting it then you will have trouble giving it to others.

Bam! Thank you. I love you all.


P.S. I respect all you professional Jamaican women out there that have to put up with this stuff constantly and do it with your heads held high. 

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