Bored to Death

             We all face this issue some time in our lives. It’s a dreadful thing that can hit us out of nowhere. Sometimes it makes us make terrible decisions. Sometimes it pushes us to do things we never thought we’d do. Sometimes it makes us watch shows all day eating nothing but strawberry flavored sour belt candy (terrible decisions…). Boredom.

               

          In the initial PC interview most, if not all, get asked something along the lines of: “During your service there will be long periods of time where you might not have anything to do; how would you deal with boredom?” I was prepared for this question and I had a long list of things that I could do running through my head. “I don’t think there is any reason to ever be bored. There are so many things that could keep me occupied if I didn’t have anything to work on. I could read, call a friend, go for a walk, meet new people, meditate, exercise, write, crochet, plant a garden, watch a movie, work on future projects…” How could anyone get so bored that they needed a plan? How could this even be a question? How idealistic you were, pre-PC Autumn.

               

          Boredom has seeped into my bones lately. It’s not that I don’t have anything to do. I’ve forced some structure in my life and I have things to do most days and I’ve been walking and running a lot more. If you know me then you’d know I used to hate running, but now I’m running up the mountain once or twice a week (ok, it’s more around the mountain at a slight incline, but still). Sometimes I run through that old list that I came up with long ago and end with throwing my arms out with a “ughhh… but I don’t wanna do any of that!” and then end up laying on the ground staring at the wall, wallowing in my crushing boredom. I’m trying not to complain too much, but a bored person loves to complain, am I right? TV is boring, reading is boring, talking to people is boring, living in the country is boring, traveling is boring, sunshine is boring, beaches are boring, food is boring. Boredom is cruel and sucks the fun out of things I once enjoyed.  

 I try to remind myself that this boredom isn’t permanent and to try my best to shake it off. That all these things that I listed aren’t boring at all and that I’m just in a funk that I’ve gotten out of before and can get out of again. My boredom is a privileged boredom. My time is still my own and although I am limited in what I can do right now I still have choices in how I want to direct things. There are plenty of wonderful things out there to see and do and plenty of interesting people to meet.

I wrote this blog post to fill in some of the space that the boredom created. I think it worked a bit.